Sunday, May 10, 2009

Another day at El-Demerdash

It started off just like any other day at El-Demerdash hospital, by signing in at 8:15, then mingling with the guys till 8:45 and then heading to wherever the ...  we need to be.

The resident had 5 requests in store for us, the 5 interns that were only here today to get them done in 1 hour tops and go home or wherever the.... we were going or at least that's what my friend and I thought was going to happen.  Well we thought wrong.

Looking at the requests paper, my friend Islam and I decided that we were going to take the 2 patients that needed interventional radiology, thinking that it was a cool thing, that we could learn and see something new and that it wouldn't take much time.

So we took our patients down to the clinic and rushed in to get an early spot, and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited.................... and waited.

Sitting down with the other interns in the modest airconditioned waiting lounge we started chatting about all kinds of different stuff.

The first thing we discovered was that one of our patients' name was "Soso 3antar" who was incidently married to "Beblawi Ta2awi", and I promise you and I swear this is all true and the names are written as so in their IDs.  We had a good laugh about this for a good 3 hours.  We made all kinds of jokes about it.

Islam and myself decided that we should go check on our patients just to make sure that they were Ok and hanging in there.  But of course both our patients had disappeared.  As we rushed outside the patients' waiting room I found me patient and approached him:

"3am Aly enta ro7t fein"

"Ana mesh 3am Aly"

"Tab fein 3am Aly? Ra7 fein?"

"Wanna eh eli 3arafny? Ana Ma7moud, matrakez shwaya ya doctor!!!"

To my relief, 3am Aly was sitting behind me on the floor leaning on the wall witnissing this comedy show and comforting me that he was still there.

Islam's patient had gone back to her room because she decided she needed some money and that she couldn't trust her roommate with it!!

Anyway, again we had decided to go get something to drink, which took no more than 10 mins.  By the time we had reached the clinic again, my patient had finished everything and was heading back to his room.  After 3 hours of waiting, it turns out that I was not needed for more than 5 mins.

So I decided that I was not going to leave Islam alone.  We were in this together.
So we started to wait again, and he began telling me about the story of his patient who was going for a BM biopsy and just as they started touching her :

"Ana 3atshana, hatooli ashrab, 7amoot"

After drinking some water brought to her by the doctor

"Ana lessa 3atshana, hatooli ashrab tany, 7amoot"

"Tayeb ya mama ba3d man khalas, yalla"

"A3ooth Belah men al-shaitan al-rageem, Besm Allah Al-Rahman Al-Ra7eem
AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!"

"Eh ya mama dah...... bas ehdy keda e7na lessa ma3amalnash 7aga"

"tayeb tayeb
A3ooth Belah men al-shaitan al-rageem, Besm Allah Al-Rahman Al-Ra7eem
Ketab 7ayaty ya 3en ...etc"


Back to where we were, it had hit 3 o'clock when the doctor finally called Islam's patient, and after 5 mins of examination she turned out to be just fine and didn't need anything.  After we had wasted 6 hours waiting, nothing, zilch, nil.  We had wasted 6 hours doing nothing at all.

Except that we had met "Soso 3anter" and exchanged some useless info.

Thank you Demerdash!!

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